Bell Jar 10

Esther feels that she needs to get past her innocence for a few reasons. She wants to because she wants to feel like she is a woman. Esther also is still bitter about Buddy having sex and she wants to do it to get him back. She wants to feel experienced. She even feels a need to seduce him. She is showing action and trying to get him to sleep with her. After she has sex with him, she is in pain. Due to her being a virgin, she bleeds a lot, but she cannot stop bleeding. Even though it was painful and not a pleasurable experience, she is still happy that she has become a woman. I think she feels better about the situation after it happened because she has finally succeeded in this task that she’s wanted for so long. Even though she had sex with him, she refuses to have an emotional attachment to him. I think now that she’s gotten what she’s wanted from Irwin, she feels different about him, but is now happy with her accomplishment as a new “woman.”