Time

Joe decides to master time become because he feels without time he loses all connection with the world. While everyone is going on with life and growing and getting older, Joe is stuck in his own little world. Joe needs to use time as a means of keeping himself attached and not going crazy. Joe first tries to count time, but shortly quits because he cannot focus that long. Joe then uses nurse’s visits and the sunrise. Joe begins to focus on feeling the sunrise. Even though he doesn’t know if it is the morning sunrise or which side of the hospital his room is on, it gives him a starting point to count the number of visits by the nurses. Joe finally masters counting time by using the sunrise and counting the number of visits by the nurses, the changing of the sheets, and when he receives a wash. With mastering time, Joe finally gives himself something to do and also keeps him in touch with the world, even though it is minuscule.

Worth fighting for

Joe believes that something worth dying for is the things you think of right before dying. For Joe that is his girlfriend and normal living. Joe feels like he knows because he is the closest thing to death. He knows that before dying, people are thinking about their families or their friends or loved ones, not liberty and freedom and courage. Joe believes that dying is not worth “liberty” because liberty is so vague. Many times in war, the leaders will say their believes, then soldiers will go and die for the leaders believe. When a person is about to die, he doesn’t think of those things that they were going to die for. Joe believes if people had an understanding, and heard his story, people will understand to not waste their lives for reasons they don’t truly understand.

The Rat

The rat is on Joe's face because he was imagining it. Even though we never truly know if he does feel a rat or not, I believe that he just imagines it. Joe has a fear of the rat. Joe first encounters the rat when he sees it eating the dead soldiers face. That permanently connects the rat with death for Joe. The rat also signifies Joe's helplessness to do anything about it. The main concern at the time for Joe is that the rat will begin to eat his face and he cannot prevent it, but there are many different interpretations you can pull from this scene. The problem Joe encounters with the rat is that he cannot tell if it is reality or a dream, which makes him realize his dilemma of not being able to tell time. Once Joe can understand if he is awake or asleep, he'll know what is real and what's a dream. For Joe, the rat means many things, but most of all it represents a helpless death which he fears the most.

Bell Jar 10

Esther feels that she needs to get past her innocence for a few reasons. She wants to because she wants to feel like she is a woman. Esther also is still bitter about Buddy having sex and she wants to do it to get him back. She wants to feel experienced. She even feels a need to seduce him. She is showing action and trying to get him to sleep with her. After she has sex with him, she is in pain. Due to her being a virgin, she bleeds a lot, but she cannot stop bleeding. Even though it was painful and not a pleasurable experience, she is still happy that she has become a woman. I think she feels better about the situation after it happened because she has finally succeeded in this task that she’s wanted for so long. Even though she had sex with him, she refuses to have an emotional attachment to him. I think now that she’s gotten what she’s wanted from Irwin, she feels different about him, but is now happy with her accomplishment as a new “woman.”

Bell Jar 9

When Esther says she feels trapped under a bell jar, she means that she is stuck and there is nothing she can do about it. Esther feels that in her life there is nothing she can do to change it. Bell jars can move so wherever she goes it stays on top of her. This feeling of being trapped comes from her being not capable to change things. The more Esther feels like she can’t change her feelings or her predicament, the more trapped she feels. Even though she feels trapped she does say that after he successful shock therapy she feels like the bell jar lifted a few feet. Esther is beginning to feel like that she can move a little bit more. Even though she is feeling more free, she still knows that the bell jar is there. The ever looming bell jar floats above her head, waiting for the opportunity to drop back down, trapping Esther again to a point of suicidal thoughts. Even though Esther is now happier, she still is aware that she can fall back to where she was.

Bell Jar 8

The main difference in the new asylum is that it looks like a country club and she has a better doctor. Esther likes Dr. Nolan more than Dr. Gordon. First of all, Dr. Nolan is a woman, which pleases Esther. The second thing is that Dr. Gordon gave her shock therapy, which hurt Esther and she hated. Dr. Nolan reveals to her that shock therapy should not be so painful and wouldn’t be a second time. Esther seems to be making strides in saying her emotions without being berated for them. Esther goes as far as saying she dislikes visitors because of what they have to say and she hates her mother. I think it’s good for Esther to admit that and be able to get away with it. Dr. Nolan is even pleased with her confession, which makes Esther happy again. With Dr. Nolan, Esther feels more empowered about how she is and admitting her true emotions. Dr. Nolan is another woman that can talk to Esther and try to keep her sane while treating her properly, something that Dr. Gordon did not do well. Esther would have hated her life if she was forced to stay where she was. She disliked it and received poor treatment.

Bell Jar 7

Esther is severely depressed with life and no longer desires to live. She even tries to kill herself in two ways. First she had a discussion with her date about how he would kill himself. She then says suicide with a gun is an obvious male thing because it’s quick and takes action. She herself is not willing to take the action of killing herself, she is willing to put herself in a situation to die, but not end her own life. She then decides to drown herself but she has buoyancy issues, and later decides to kill herself with sleeping pills. Her depression stems from her unhappiness and struggles in finding a place for herself in the world. She then is confronted by situations of death like visiting her father’s grave for the first time and discussing suicide. The more depressing thoughts she has pushes her more towards suicidal thoughts. Once Esther is no longer depressed, her problems will be solved.

Bell Jar 6

Esther doesn’t like Dr. Gordon for a few reasons. First of all she finds him attractive. She doesn’t believe that someone that attractive can help her. The picture of his family he keeps on his desk then further frustrates her. Esther believed that he kept that picture there to ward off possible advance she might make because he is attractive. That agitated her because she thought he was conceited and I think she was jealous of his attractiveness and his attractive family. The picture just rubbed it in her face. For Ester, Dr. Gordon was too attractive and conceited to help her. I think that he is hurting her because she already assumes that he cannot help her. When Esther needs help, she should get it from someone she’s willing to listen to. With Dr. Gordon, she’s not willing to listen, and being with him makes her more agitated and upset. She’s not even staying steady, she’s getting worse. For Esther, she needs someone that she is willing to listen to and give her good treatment.

Bell Jar 5

Esther acts like she has given up hope. She decides that her course has changed and yet she is unhappy with all the decisions she thinks of. She ends up being very unhappy and ends with going to the doctor. Marco affected her because he was kind of the last straw for her in New York. Her “date” with him was horrible. There had to have been some mental or emotion trauma for Esther that went along with the physical trauma she endured. She ends up going back to her apartment and throwing all of her wardrobe of the roof of her building, which I think symbolizes her being done with the New York life. She later returns to Boston, depressed. I think the occurrence with Marco was what pushed her over the edge. Without him I think she may have tried a little longer in New York but I still believe it was only a matter of time before she was done living there.

Bell Jar 4

Esther really likes Constantin. She thinks he is very attractive and likes him. She even says that she hasn’t been as happy while holding his hand as when she was nine with her dad. She is really infatuated with him and when he takes her to the UN she feels down for a little bit because of her life ambitions but he was able to make her feel better again at dinner. She wants to have sex with him and awaits his seduction but he doesn’t try. I think Esther really liked him and wanted to lose her virginity to get even with Buddy and she likes him enough that she’s willing to… “give it up.” Even though she is willing, Constantin does not attempt to seduce her, he just goes to sleep. I think that Constantin is actually a really nice guy and didn’t want to take advantage of Esther, especially since she wanted sex for the wrong reasons. I was surprised that he was a gentleman but not disappointed.

Bell Jar 3

Esther really likes Buddy. Especially before he showed interest in her she used to watch him from afar. This shows she was quite infatuated with him. She really likes him for a while, but then she finds out that he is a two timing player. Well not really, but he wasn't as innocent as she thought he was. She wants him to be honest with her, so he is, then she finds out about the waitress. This makes her upset, now she wishes he was real, and not hypocritical. Now she decides to dump him. She now is single but Buddy is upset because he is now single, and got TB, which everyone thinks that she is just sad about the break up. Even though she's not. Esther now does not like buddy, quite the opposite of her first feelings for him.